Analingus - aka rimming, tossing the salad, booty job, eatin’ ass - is one of those sex acts that you either love or love to hate. It’s not for everyone, because nothing is, but for the people who enjoy it, they really, really love it.

 

You can kiss and use your lips to make a booty feel amazing, too.

 

 

Some people are ready to eat the ass of any willing booty that backs up into their mouth. Others will only do it with specific partners under specific circumstances. Both are valid.

If you’re ready to go down this booty lovin’ path, here’s what you need to know.

What is Rimming?

Rimming is technically known as analingus. It involves one person’s mouth on another person’s anus. You can lick, suck, or even penetrate a willing booty with your tongue. You can kiss and use your lips to make a booty feel amazing, too.

 

Too many straight guys don’t understand just how much pleasure is sitting in their butt.

 

 

Some people like teeth action - when it’s done well. While others are firmly in the No Teeth Allowed zone. (More on that in a moment.)

Who Does It?

Who rims or gets rimmed? Anyone with a butt. Yes, this includes heterosexual guys - butt stuff doesn’t make you gay. Anal action is completely gender-neutral because everyone has a butt, and anyone can enjoy being touched, sucked, licked, or fucked back there.

Too many straight guys don’t understand just how much pleasure is sitting in their butt. From the thousands of nerve endings at the opening of the anus to your prostate (aka the P-spot), you could potentially have multiple orgasms - if you’d let your butt get some extra lovin’.

Blame a culture that taught too many of us that the “right” way to have sex is for men to fuck only women. Anything else requires a “no homo” disclaimer, apparently.

 

If they’re willing to explore any form of anal play, that’s a step in the right direction.

 

 

Everyone has a butt and butts can feel good when touched or licked just right. No one should feel pressure to try rimming or any anal sex. But refusing to try because you think it makes you “gay” or other anal stigmas is wrong on so many levels. And it means you’ve just reduced your potential orgasms. Who wants only half the orgasms we could have? Not us!

So, let’s talk rimming.

How to Get or Give a Rim Job

You’re dying to try rimming with a partner, whether on the giving or receiving end. The only way to do it is to talk about it!

Communication is important in any kind of sex but anal should never be sprung on a partner out of nowhere. Anal is never an accident.

If you’ve never talked about anal with your partner, this will probably be the biggest hurdle to overcome: figuring out how to mention it to them.

You can try something like, “I read an article on this great sex toy site about something called rimming. Have you ever heard of it?”

 

Rimming is safer for the person being licked than the person with their tongue up a butt.

 

 

If your partner is open to the conversation and curious about it, that’s a good starting point. After that, you’ll need to keep talking about it over time until you both know what you’d like to try together.

Try not to be too disappointed if they’re not open to rimming right away. If they’re willing to explore any form of anal play, that’s a step in the right direction.

Give your partner time and respect their desire to wait or to not do it at all. 

But let’s say you get through the awkward conversations, do some research together, and now they’re ready to have their butt licked (or to lick your butt). What do you do next?

Rimming Tips

The more you rim, the better you’ll get at it. Especially as you figure out what your partner enjoys. But there are a few tips to help your first experiences feel amazing.

Clean the Butt

At a bare minimum, you should wipe the outside of your butthole. From farts to poops, it probably smells a little funky down there.

 

Rimming is one of the few perfect times for water-based flavored lube.

 

You can also shower to make sure everything smells fresh and clean. Some people use anal douches to get extra clean. This isn’t a requirement, and if you can stick a finger up your butt and pull it out clean, you probably don’t need to. 

Talk About Safer Sex

If your rimming fantasies are with a committed partner and/or you already know each other’s STI statuses, you can probably skip a lot of this. But if you’ve never talked about it, haven’t been tested in a long time, or don’t know if either of you could have a sexually transmitted infection, make an appointment and have the conversation. 

Rimming is safer for the person being licked than the person with their tongue up a butt. STIs like gonorrhea, hepatitis, syphilis, and more can potentially be transmitted through rimming.

The best protection against STI transmission and against potential bacteria found in feces (in case the butt being licked isn’t squeaky clean) is a dental dam. This may also be a great option if you want to give your partner the rimming they crave but feel squeamish about putting your tongue on their butt hole.

Use Flavored Lube

Rimming is one of the few perfect times for water-based flavored lube. 

Most flavored lubes should be kept on the outside of the anus and not necessarily used for penetration, too. The exceptions are products that have minimal ingredients and are glycerin-free. Sliquid is an excellent brand to try. And don’t forget to check for known allergens or sensitivities - for either of you.

Use More Than Your Tongue

Tongue action is important in rimming, obviously. You can lick up and down, all around, make shapes, “write” letters, and more. You can also tap, change tempo, apply pressure, and do all kinds of things with your tongue. 

 

. . . . extra stimulation can take a rim job from great to OMG-this-is-fucking-amazing

 

 

But there’s more to rimming than licking. 

• Use your breath to create different sensations: blow lightly so they feel cool air or exhale so that warm air touches their tushy. 
• Get your hands in on the action by touching their cheeks or their anus. 
• Get your face in there, especially if you have facial hair.
• Kiss, nip, and suck with your lips.

Of course, the most important thing is to pay attention to your partner’s reactions and ask if they like what you’re doing.

Invite the Perineum to the Party

Between the genitals and the anus is a patch of skin that, when stimulated in a just-right way, can send your partner straight into orbit. This is the perineum aka the taint. For anyone with a prostate, this stimulation is known as an external prostate massage. If you don’t have a prostate, this can simply feel good because it’s a sensitive area.

 

Don’t let the bullshit society has taught you keep you from experiencing all the sexual pleasure your body is capable of.

 

 

While your tongue is on their butthole, move a hand to the perineum and gently stroke. You may want to apply pressure, too, if your partner likes it. This extra stimulation can take a rim job from great to OMG-this-is-fucking-amazing in a few moves.

Watch Those Teeth

Some people like teeth action during sex, whether it’s oral sex or anything else. Some don’t. Even a partner who begs to be bitten during sex might not love teeth during a rim job, though. That’s because the anus is extremely sensitive - which is why rimming feels so good.

• Before you bite, ask. (This should be standard operating procedure during all forms of sex.)
• Start gentle and light.
• Let your teeth graze the area before you chomp.
• Increase pressure only with guidance from your partner.

Don’t be surprised if teeth aren’t invited to this party. And until you know if they are, keep your lips and tongue at the front and watch those teeth.

In Conclusion: Go Get That Booty Licked

Whether you want to lick or be licked, talk to your partner about it. The conversation can feel awkward at first, and there’s no guarantee you’ll get a yes. But the only way to get or give a rim job is to talk about it. Once you do, take your time, focus on pleasure, and keep the lines of communication open with your partner.

Anyone can enjoy anal sex, from rimming to penetration. Don’t let the bullshit society has taught you keep you from experiencing all the sexual pleasure your body is capable of. It’s okay to reject rimjobs because you’re not interested. But it’s sad to let false beliefs keep you from exploring pleasure.

 

About Kayla Lords:

I am a freelance sex writer, podcaster, YouTuber, and kink educator. I love talking about sex and sex toys and focus primarily on kinky topics. I’m also a kinky woman in a BDSM relationship who enjoys oversharing on the internet.